You are currently browsing the monthly archive for March 2008.

(Wait, what do you mean it isn’t Friday?  Oops.  Better late than never I guess.)

Here at TB30 we are BIG college basketball fans.  March Madness is equivalent to Christmas.  At the very least we put more careful thought into our brackets than we do into our Christmas lists.  Gus is obviously in on the love.

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His pick? The Georgia BULLDOGS of course. Guess that means his bracket is busted.  Unfortunately I think mine is too. 

Check in on Ben, Smalls, Kaya, Rufus, Zapp and Ted and find out who they’re rooting for!

TTO is on the verge of a really rigorous time period at work and tonight he participated in a what’s become a ritual for his particular work crew each year at this time.

He went to a strip club.

And I have to say I don’t get why strip clubs are such a big deal.  Not in the sense that I don’t understand why guys go.  I get that entirely.  What I don’t get is why some women get their undies all in a bunch when their men venture into these particular dens of inequity. 

I went to a bachelorette party a few months ago and the bachelor party was occurring at the same time but in a much different location.  One of the younger ladies in our group was HYSTERICAL because she heard the guys would be going to the nudie bar.  Apparently her husband isn’t “allowed” in places like that.  She was screaming about divorce in between drinks out of her penis-shaped cup.  I was baffled.  What did she think they were going to do?  It was a bachelor party!  The groom’s dad and future father-in-law were there!  I heard from TTO later that said husband sat at a table in the back and did not look up the entire time.  Poor guy, he probably could have used it.

Honestly, I’ve never actually been in a strip club.  My small hometown had one but I never went.  I can’t really say why.  Probably because good Catholic girls don’t do things like that.  In college I always thought that being an exotic dancer wouldn’t be so bad if you had the right body and no inhibitions (I wasn’t a candidate because I possessed neither).  You make good money, people appreciate the work you’re doing and the shoes are pretty awesome.  I knew guys that would go every weekend and drop hundreds of dollars.  That’s the only thing I really can’t understand – handing over your hard earned money just for a few minutes of attention, but hey if it makes you happy I’m not going to fault you for it.

The other thing that bothers me is the stigma that’s attached to the girls that work in these places.  Playboy centerfolds are practically celebrities, but the girl that lives upstairs and wears 6 inch lucite heels to work is dirty, wrong and evil. Dancing on a stage in skimpy outfits does not equal prostitution.  From what I hear, these ladies sometimes wear more clothing than your average professional cheerleader. 

A few years ago one of TTO’s friends married an ex-stripper.  I couldn’t believe all of the nasty gossip that was flying about – especially since no one had personally met her.  Would they have made the same “gold-digger” and comments if she was a waitress or a bartender?  If you’re out there working it to pay for school or to take care of your family or just because you LIKE it, I say go on with your pole-polishing self.   

I don’t know.  Maybe I’m just lucky that I have so much trust in TTO.  I know he’s coming home – usually with lots of compliments for ME and funny stories to share.  Tonight, for example, “I bought a lap dance for Fred and you’ll never guess what song came on – ‘Sweet Caroline’ – even the stripper was pissed.  I’ll never hear that song the same again.”

I was really wracking my brain trying to come up with a new Gus post.  If he’s done something fun or exciting we’ve likely missed it.  TTO is in the midst of an insanely long stretch of working without a day off.  He won’t have a break until near the end of April.  I’ve been working longer hours than normal at work and our social schedule has been much more involved.  Sadly, this means a lot less quality Gus time. 

Gus is a very affectionate dog and while he’s pretty low maintenance he really does need a good amount of interaction.  We contemplated getting him a sibling to ease the lonliness.  TTO even found an ad in the paper for puppies of Gus’ exact mix (Boxer and English Bulldog) and we were thisclose to going to look at them.  Fortunately more rational heads prevailed and we decided to hold off on any family additions until this summer. 

It was a good thing too, I’d hate to see what TWO dogs would do to a roll of paper towels.  I found this when I got out of the shower this morning. A ready-made blog topic.  It’s a good thing the weekend is upon us – Gus obviously needs some attention.

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TTO did an admirable job in my absence, but I’ve cleared my head (as best I can) and I’m ready to get back in the saddle.  I’ll have a new post on Monday.

A quick hello from the lady of the blog – I had to remind TTO of his blogging duties.  I bet you thought I was the only one around here who made lists.  You lose!

I work with a bunch of dirty old men and we sit around make fun of each other.  Below are some of the nicknames we use:

Hereford Head – His head looks like it came from a Herford breed cow

Taconite ass – He was shot in the butt during a hunting trip and he’s originally from Minnesota’s Iron Range

Old Wooden Tooth – He has some dental issues.  He chews.  And his teeth are a little brown, like oak.

Uncle F’em – The most bitter man in the worldSweats – Wears sweat pants every day

Mush Head Queer Pants – Just like the name says

Ice Pick – Threatened to stab a boss in the eye with an ice pick

Big Nose – Enough said

Harry – He looks like a shaven Ewok

Bernie – His real name is Richard, but when he started his handwriting on all of his forms was so awful that they had to guess what name to put on his uniforms.  They used Bernard.

The Gay Firefighter – Not that there’s anything wrong with that

Sarge – He was in the Marines

Fish Back – He has a tramp stamp of fish.  Yes, a male tramp stamp.

Jagor – A cross of Mick Jagger and Quasi Modo

Blueberry Cowboy – Fake cowboy

Billy Big Bass – Thinks he’s a pro fisherman

Lil’ Hitler – Bossy a-hole

Wood Tick – Big fat guy, like a wood tick right before it pops

Kool-Aid – Big fat guy, wears red

Utee – From Utah

Retard Don Knots -That’s what he looks like.  (For the record, I hate this use of the word retard just like my wife does)

Tree Hugger – Way left of center, viva revolution.

Ten Gallon Head – Really large head

It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t share my own nicknames:

Swede – I’m Swedish (yep, we’re really creative)

Sweety – Variation of the above

Nappy Haired Swede – I badly need a haircut

Dumb Tall Swede – More of the same

Porn – It rhymes with TTO

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Stay tuned for Friday.  Gus is ready for his comeback.

Something else you should know about me – my mantra is “I never claim to be right, but I will tell you what I think.”  The wife doesn’t always appreciate this, but for the most part it serves me well.

On Friday we were on our way out to dinner and got to talking about recent local news stories.  One that seemed to get at both of us involves a college girl that died of alcohol poisoning on her 21st birthday.  It is very sad and I don’t want to take anything away from this tragic story, but I feel like her family is handling it poorly.  They are suing the bar she was drinking at and the friends that were with her that night.  Now I know it must be tough to go through this, but is directing your pain towards others that are experiencing the very same grief helping anything?   I know my family would be upset, but they would understand that I made the choice to go out that night and drink too much.  I know peer pressure is a b****.  I also drank way too much on my 21st (as did my wife and many, many of our friends) but it was my choice to drink and ultimately my choice to stop.  Usually I stopped a lot later than I should have and looking back I realize how stupid that was. 

Now I don’t have kids so maybe I’m way off, but I know for a fact that my parents would never file a lawsuit against my friends, or my school or my local adult establishment if they were in the above situation.  Why is society always so quick to place the blame on someone else?  What do you think?  When did other people become accountable for our actions.

Alright, I’m done.  I promise to provide a more uplifting post next time.

 

**The title of this post is a stab at the local NFL team.  In his infinite wisdom, the coach claimed they would be instituting a ‘culture of accountability’ in the wake of the Love Boat scandal.  Yeah right.