You are currently browsing the monthly archive for September 2007.

I think I have stated before that I am not the most graceful person.  I would like to enter this exhibit into evidence.

This morning I was quickly gathering up all of my work items in an effort to actually leave the house on time for the first time this week.  I had my portfolio on one hip as I grabbed my jacket.  As I swiftly turned to head down the stairs I ran into the wall, jabbed the portfolio into my ribs and knocked the wind out of myself. 

Even I was impressed with the degree of difficulty and creativity on this one.

Unfortunately my side still hurts. 

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Hi.  I’m Gus.  As you can see, we are extremely busy over here.

 

That is all.

I am still bogged down with this darn cold.  Seriously?  I think two weeks is long enough!  I am over the Phoebe-style raspy voice and I know that TTO is sick of the whining.

Anyway, last night I was doing some work on the computer when I heard TTO’s high-pitched laugh.  This is something that only gets broken out when he is seriously amused by something.  When he collected himself he called me down to see what was so funny. 

He was watching the premiere of Beauty and the Geek.  This is not a show that we watch regularly.  Oh.My.Goodness.  What a mess!

What really got him was when one of the girls was asked for her IQ.  She responded, “a little bit higher than not that dumb.”  Wow.  While it was funny at the time, it also made me a little sad.  One of the other girls said that she never reads.  At most a half page article in a magazine.  I just can’t believe this.   I know not everyone reads the way I do, but NEVER?  How can you not want to know things beyond whether the amount of drinks that will be purchased for you will offset what you paid for your boob job? 

I am not a genius.  I’m not always completely up to date on current events and  I certainly have my dumb blonde moments – especially when it comes to doing math in my head or giving directions (I once told TTO to go “up” when I really meant north), but I feel remorse over these things, not pride.

I am a firm believer that strong common sense almost always trumps book smarts.  Neither of my parents went to college, but they are two of the most intelligent people I have ever known.  My mom can take a pile of junk and turn it in to fabulous home decor without batting an eye.  She makes meals from scratch without recipes.  My dad is an encyclopedia when it comes to anything related to cars, home repair, yard maintenance and sports.

Have these girls just been given so much (including a TV show!) that they really don’t need to know anything?  What happens to people like this when their supposed beauty fades or their athletic ability (have to include the not-so-bright boys as well) wears off and people are no longer interested in them? 

I guess I’m a lot happier being average with the occasional interesting thing to say than I would be if I were “beautiful” with an empty head.

For over a week now I’ve been bogged down by a particularly wretched end of summer cold.  I missed a day of work last week and spent a gorgeous Saturday inside sleeping on the couch and watching bad TV. 

By Sunday I was fed up.  TTO and I had made plans a few weeks ago to go to Red Wing and climb Barn Bluff.  Even though we lived so close neither of us had ever made it up the “mountain”.  Even though I still wasn’t feeling great I decided I needed to get off my butt and outside the house. 

I have never been the most adventurous or outdoorsy person.  I like the idea of doing things but the follow through has always been sketchy.  I’m trying to stretch myself and really experience new opportunities.  This adventure was not the grandest but it involved doing something I don’t normally do (hiking) in a place I’d never been.  It felt really good.

It was a beautiful fall day, the trails were not crowded – most of the people we encountered were there for rock climbing, not hiking and we had a great time.  We didn’t really know what we were doing so we ended up taking the long way around to get to the top.  I think we appreciated the view more because we’d worked harder to get there.  Like all things in life I suppose.

There were tons of steps all embossed with the names of the people that had donated money to have them built.  We even came across one with TTO’s initials and our last name.  I love odd bits of history like this.  As I was climbing the (many) stairs I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of people they might have been or why they chose to donate their money to the steps.  It was a little sad to see that many of the original steps were removed due to highway construction.   

I have a really bad habit of not living in the moment.  I will stop having fun and enjoying myself on vacations about midway through because all I can think about is going home and going back to work.  I never enjoy Sunday afternoons because I’m too caught up in the approaching week.  This annoys TTO to no end and I can certainly understand.  I don’t know where it started, but I do know that it needs to end.

I think among all of the improvements I’m trying to make, changing this outlook is extremely important.  I made a concious effort on Sunday to only think about the right here and right now.  It made a huge difference!  I was actually surprised at how relaxing the day felt.  I really focused on the conversations we were having instead of making a mental list of all the things that needed doing when we got home. 

Each night this week I’ve tried to take the same approach.  I’ve enjoyed making dinner and taken my time eating it.  I’ve watched TV without trying to do three other things at the same time.  I’ve gone to bed at a reasonable hour without feeling guilty about all of the things I didn’t get done.  I feel so much more at ease.  Maybe I’m finally figuring it out.  Or it could just be an overdose of DayQuil. 

I’ve always thought that if I could have a superpower I would choose invisibility.  The opportunity to peek into people’s private lives would be amazing, but I’m not interested in their dirty little secrets.  I just like knowing the odd little details about people. 

One of the magazines I read has a feature that shows the contents of fridges belonging to celebrities.  I love that stuff!  I don’t care about your new movie – I want to see how you organize your closet!  Congratulations on your book – does your toilet paper roll over or under?

I have no good explanation as to why this fascinates me so much.  When I was younger and babysat a lot I loved to look through the cupboards and closets of the people I worked for.  I wasn’t trying to find booze, I was more interested in what kind of ketchup they used (I take my ketchup seriously.  I knew TTO was the one for me when he said “Only Heinz, nothing else

After writing yesterday’s post I was thinking a lot about what makes other people tick. Why are we so consumed with feelings of insecurity?  It is rare that I don’t walk into a room and automatically assess all of the people in it.  Not to put them down, but to make myself feel more comfortable.  I’ll do a quick “she’s skinnier, but my shoes are cuter” and “her teeth are so white and straight, but I have better hair”.

When do we start comparing ourselves to other people?  Why are we so darn critical?  Where do we learn this?  And it’s not just the physical traits we judge. 

Every few months I get a magazine from my alma mater.  I refer to it as my quarterly reminder to feel inadequate.  The back few pages are dedicated to marriages, births, deaths and accomplishments.  The accomplishments get me every time.  Especially when I see that someone younger than me has scaled Everest or invented a life-saving medical device.  I have no desire to do those things, but rather than feel good for the people who do I feel myself regretting not having those desires or even more so, not acting on the desires I do have.

I have a good life, a fantastic husband, a decent job.  I am happy.  Why on earth does something like that bring me down?  Does anyone else do this?

I think the magazine would be a lot more interesting (and less guilt-inducing) if they just took pictures of the inside of someone’s fridge.  I’d even volunteer.  You’ll find the Heinz ketchup right in front.